


bone-deep exhaustion

by InvadingThoughts



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Crimes & Criminals, Fake AH Crew, Homelessness, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Pre-Fake AH Crew, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 20:43:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9675599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InvadingThoughts/pseuds/InvadingThoughts
Summary: Jeremy is curled up against Michael’s side, face pressed up against the hollow of his neck with his hands clutching at the thin fabric of his shirt. Ray is sitting alone, nine feet to the left of them with his face pressed up against his knees and his fingers absentmindedly fidgeting with the pocket knife he found two days ago.And Michael… well, Michael’s just fucking tired.





	

**Author's Note:**

> written for the prompts 16) things you said with no space between us & 20) things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear on tumblr
> 
> you can find me there @zeroyalchilly!

Jeremy is curled up against Michael’s side, face pressed up against the hollow of his neck with his hands clutching at the thin fabric of his shirt. Ray is sitting alone, nine feet to the left of them with his face pressed up against his knees and his fingers absentmindedly fidgeting with the pocket knife he found two days ago.

And Michael… well, Michael’s just fucking tired.

He honestly can’t remember the last time he had a proper night of sleep, can’t remember the last time they could afford to waste money on a motel room. The hard, dirty concrete floor has become familiar to him in a way that he hates, almost like a cruel joke. He’d been delusional three years ago, to think that he could just run away to Los Santos and make a life for himself. To think that he could get a job in the underground fights, to think that he could find a place to stay- to think that he had any chance in this stupid city.

At least now he know’s he was fucking wrong.

He sighs softly and subconsciously tightens his grip on Jeremy as the younger boy shifts in his arms. He’s only nineteen, but Michael already feels like he’s fucking forty and when he looks at Jeremy, something inside him snaps. The kid is too young, he’s too young to get caught up in this life with him and Ray. They don’t talk about how they ended up here- it’s an unspoken rule that none of them dares to break- but Michael would _kill_ to know how a fifteen-year-old with his whole life ahead of him managed to get sucked into this life.

But then again, Michael can guess- what with the way he’s caught Jeremy fall silent whenever they each talk about their parents or the way he flinches when somebody mentions Boston- there’s probably a good reason why he’s curled up against Michael’s side.

Ray himself is even more of an enigma, one that Michael’s sure he’ll never crack. But, when you spend two years of your life with someone you’re bound to learn some things- he’s learnt that Ray used to own a gun, he’s learnt that Ray ended up throwing that gun away after he had to use it one night and he’s learnt that a seventeen-year-old Puerto Rican kid has two confirmed kills to his name. Two more than he does.

It’s alright, though, somehow they managed to find each other in this hellhole of a city and it makes things a bit easier. They each carry their own emotional baggage, they each jerk awake late at night thanks to nightmares and they each tremble at the thought of where their future is heading- it’s just Michael’s job to keep them all from falling to pieces.

He squeezes his eyes shut, desperately wanting to turn off his mind. In four hours it’ll be his turn to swap out with Ray and take watch. It’ll be his turn to take the pocket knife and defend his little makeshift family from junkies and pervs. He knows he should sleep, but he’s also smart enough to know that it’s a lost cause.

“Michael… are you awake?”

Ray’s voice cuts through the silence, taking him off guard. He jolts slightly, just enough to make Jeremy groan but not enough to actually wake him. He doesn’t know why he does it, doesn’t know why he holds his breath and stays silent when he’s sure Ray already knows he’s awake. But then Ray sighs and sits up slightly, leaning back on his palms for balance. The pocket knife catches against the only source of light they have, a shitty street light across the street, and the light’s too bright for Michael’s tired eyes.

“We’re not going to make it past twenty-five, are we?” he mumbles and Michael quickly realises he’s talking to himself, but it doesn’t stop him from stiffening, though. “We’re going to die so goddamn young. We’re not going to amount to anything and nobody will mourn us after we’re gone-” he sucks in a sharp breath, “- and fuck man, that’s actually _terrifying_.”

He’s a half a second from responding, he’s half a second from rolling over and just pretending he didn’t hear anything- when Ray continues.

“I don’t want to kill anyone else, Michael. I don’t want to be that person. You were- you were telling me about the Vagabond a few days ago and I just- I _don’t_ want to be like him,” he hisses. Michael bites at the inside of his cheek, hard enough that he can taste blood, but he stays silent. “I can’t sleep anymore without seeing their faces, I can’t sleep anymore without having nightmares. And I know, I know you have them too- you lurch awake and you sit there on the edge of crying- and then you pretend! You pretend you’re fine and you’re not, and neither am I, and neither is Jeremy.”

Ray’s words trail off, and the way he just seems to give up on his anger makes Michael’s stomach turn.

“We’re not alright. We’re going to die before we’re twenty-five and nobody will mourn us…” he sighs, shaking his head.

“Maybe. Maybe we might end up as another statistic, maybe we’ll draw the short straw and the pigs will find our bodies decomposing in a dirty alleyway. Maybe.” He lets out a breath, pausing for a moment to watch the way Ray’s body tenses across from him. “But maybe. Just maybe. We might come out on top. Maybe we’ll find some place to call home and maybe we’ll end up owning this city. _Maybe_. You never know, Ray- we’re not dead yet.”

“But we will- we _will_ die, Michael,” he replies.

“Everyone dies, Ray.”

“But not usually at twenty-something years old. Not before their lives have even amounted to anything.”

Michael watches Ray’s body twist around, and it’s just enough for him to catch sight of the hard look in Ray’s eyes. He can’t move, doesn’t dare to disturb Jeremy’s sleep, so instead he just jerks his head slightly- hoping that Ray understands him. It takes a moment of unbroken eye contact before Ray gives in, crawling over towards Michael to slot up against his free side. Like this, Michael can feel how fast Ray’s heart is beating- it’s nice.

“Who said that our lives haven’t amounted to anything?” he asks and the look that flickers in Ray’s gaze is one that Michael’s not sure he’s seen before.

“Michael-” he begins, voice slightly verging on a whine but Michael shakes his head.

“Can you honestly tell me, that if we didn’t exist, that everything would still be the same? Can you say with certainty, that if we weren’t alive, that Jeremy would still be asleep against two other boys- two boys that are just as willing to sacrifice themselves for him as we are?” he mumbles, “I don’t know about you, Ray- but I think we’ve amounted to something great. Because honestly, we’re big brothers’ now.”

The quiet, “Oh…” that slips past Ray’s lips is soft spoken and awestricken, and Michael can’t help but smile in response. He presses his face into the crook of Ray’s neck and breathes out, knowing that his breath is tickling against Ray’s skin.

“We’ll figure things out, Ray. We’ve got _plenty_ of time. I’ve got my name out there now, I’ll start picking up jobs soon and then we’ll start pulling in the cash. You don’t have to kill, we can find you something that easier- we’ve got plenty of time,” he says and Ray nods slowly.

He moves to pull away but Michael slips his free arm around him, pulling him back against his side. “Michael- I have to take watch. Let me go, dude,” he tries to argue but Michael just shakes his head.

“Stay here a bit longer, please. You don’t have to fall asleep- just, stay,” he whispers and Ray nods slowly, falling back against his side easily. Michael knows he won’t fall asleep tonight, but with Ray and Jeremy pressed against his side- his small little makeshift family safe in his arms- he just can’t bring himself to care.

He’ll sleep tomorrow night. He has plenty of time.


End file.
